awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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