My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
