whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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