We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
