She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
