Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
