Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
