Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
