the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
