Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
