she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
