i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Girls should come with a carfax report
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
