Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
