Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
only you would photoshop your dick
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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