we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
