If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
