That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
