what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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