so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
