dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
