i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
