In the future we'll all be gay
look no pants
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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