ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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