ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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