But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
