just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
