just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just cut my nipple shaving
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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