you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
