dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
