i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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