It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
