i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
