Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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