So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
