when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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