standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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