I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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