Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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