Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
