I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
