Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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