I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
