i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
