Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
