You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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