I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
