We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
