i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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