I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
