What did we do last night that was yellow?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
