My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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