I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
